It took 40ish years, but I finally found something that combines all of my passions:
- warm food, sweet and/or savory
- applications of household appliances that diverge from the manufacturer’s and marketer's intended use
- time-lapse videos
- alliteration, almost always
- unexpected juxtapositions of video and sound
- question marks(?)
Better still, the origin story is my son and his friends talking about me — me! — and how I should have a gameshow with a title that explains the premise and is easy for the studio audience to chant in unison:
Will … It … Waffle?
For those of you who do not (yet) follow @willit_waffle on TickTock, here are the first episodes/experiments in the wonderful world of waffling whatever we will:
1. Pineapple
Will it Waffle? Yes.
Nu? It is clear to me, as it probably already was to some subset of Hawaiians, that hot pineapple is superior to cold or room-temperature pineapple.
2. Bagel
Will it Waffle? Yes.
Nu? I already considered myself an expert in reheating bagels. I am now experter.
3. Egg
Will it Waffle? Sure.
Nu? Maybe I was worried about getting egg on my face — yolk yolk yolk — but this came out more well done than I prefer.
4. Ramen
Will it Waffle? Yes!
Nu? Like Post-It Notes and the Implantable Pacemaker, this earth-shattering invention was an accident. Specifically, that I did not dare get to Phoebe’s dance competition late and face the wrath of my fellow dance moms, which caused me to leave my Ramen, returning to a pot of limp noodles that led me to wonder (outloud), Will it Waffle? I have made this multiple times since — and Phoebe was the best dancer.
5. Cornbread
Will it Waffle? Oh, yes.
Nu? How is this not already a thing? It might already be a thing, but I’m not going to inquire further.
6. Canteloupe
Will it Waffle? No.
Nu? First fail. I thought my biggest mistake would be leaving the seeds, but they were the best part.
7. Double Stuf Oreo
Will it Waffle? Oh, no.
Nu? It will not waffle, but it will make your waffle iron difficult to clean.
8. Mochi Cake
Will it Waffle? はい! (Hai!)
Nu? My loving wife did not love my decision to make our favorite “homemade” cake von Waffeln, but even she was powerless to resist the mochilicious results.
9. Stovetop Stuffing
Will it Waffle? Yes.
Nu? After a couple decades of watching Stovetop Stuffing commercials and then a couple decades of not thinking about Stovetop Stuffing, I finally pulled a box off the shelf and onto the iron. I have no basis for comparison, but if your mom is making Stovetop at a complementary time this evening, we could dine on Stovetop at your house as well as mine.
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