I am likely the only mom on the Seaholm Maples football team who texted her Rabbi the morning of the first game of the year. “Is there an appropriate prayer asking for protection for my son while playing a football game??? He won't let me wrap him in bubble wrap.”

She responded a few hours later. “Well, the first thing that occurs to me is T’fillat Haderech — a blessing for a journey (up and down 100 yards?)”

So, before each game this year, as I watched my son Brady start at right tackle for the Seaholm Maples, I took out my phone and recited the words of T’fillat Haderech, praying that he would weather the next few hours safely. 

While I may be the only mom saying this particular prayer before her child takes the field on Friday night, I am far from the only Jewish mom at Seaholm or Metro Detroit who is watching her child play this game, ironically (and incorrectly) called pigskin. While Seaholm has not traditionally been known as a Jewish school, this year, they are fielding over two-thirds of a minyan on their football squad. 

Jewish boys playing football (and their Jewish mothers watching from the stands) evokes lots of stereotypes portraying Jews as weak rather than warriors and Jewish moms as anxious worriers.

Notions that Jews don’t play football have always been false. Jews have been part of the game for more than a century. Jews have played virtually every position at every level — including a Super Bowl MVP. But still, the question has been posed to me more than a few times:

“How are you letting your son play football?”

While four years of high school football have given me lots of thoughts on this subject, I reached out to fellow JMoms whose sons (and one daughter) are currently suiting up to get their thoughts on the experience of being a Jewish mom on the football sidelines. 

Was I the only Jewish mom scared of my kid getting hurt? Absolutely not! 

Football mom Lisa Klein said, “I am a pediatrician and for that reason had and have major reservations about Brady [yes - Lisa also has a Brady!] playing football.” 

Sharone Bigelman added, “I had a lot of reservations about Noah playing football! He already suffered a significant injury playing lacrosse that entailed surgery and a long recovery, so I wasn't eager for Noah to jump into another high-impact sport.”

Additionally, football is a sport where size matters, and as Klein noted, “We aren't always the tallest people genetically.” Now, height has never been a problem for my Brady. Still, when he was assigned to be an offensive lineman his freshman year and was (optimistically) weighing in at 135 pounds —a string bean —I had my reservations, which have been only somewhat allayed as he has added more than 70 pounds to his ever-growing frame. Amy Gach, mother to Avery Gach, said, “As a typical neurotic Jewish mother, I always said my kid would never play football unless he was the biggest one!” Avery is now a 6’5” 305-pound offensive lineman for the University of Michigan. 

Then there is the issue of holiday conflicts, given the overlap between the football season and Jewish high holidays. Happily, all the moms noted that their children had encountered no problems with missing practices for religious obligations. In our house, even though the coach had made it clear that he was excused from practice, my workhorse son went to services and then to practice despite fasting on Yom Kippur. Perhaps not the wisest choice from either a health or religious perspective, adding to the list of worries for this Jewish mother. 

Now, as Lisa notes, “I am so grateful we are at a school that has respected the main Jewish holidays and there has been zero issue for my son; however, it would definitely be an issue if we were shomer shabbas as almost every single varsity football game is on a Friday night.”

Does the lack of other Jews present an issue for these boys? For Amy Gach, it's more of an opportunity for her son to deepen his connection to his Jewish identity. “As a Jewish family in the area, having a child that plays football is pretty rare now that he is in college, and antisemitism, especially on campuses, is on the rise. I think it has helped Avery to stand up and embrace his Jewish faith even more. Especially being in a locker room around some people who have never met a Jewish person.”

Jewish kids are also breaking down gender barriers in the sport. Lisa McNulty’s daughter has recently started to play middle school football. Lisa says, “I was beyond scared and nervous for her to join the boys' football team, but proud of her for standing up for her rights. She tried to join the team last year and was rejected, but then reached out to the principal and coaches, demanding that she deserved equal opportunity.”

Each mom, despite any initial reservations, kvelled about the learning experience that is high school football.

Klein: So are there a lot of Jewish redheaded boys playing football? Nope. But there are so many other things about football besides the actual sport. The discipline. The camaraderie. The brotherhood. It's been an important part of his 4 years at high school. Only a few of the kids are ever stars of a team...so for all the rest of the squad...there must be something they love about the sport and team aspect for them to be playing and coming home bruised and exhausted day after day.

Gach: Avery played four years on varsity, and football became his passion. He had determination and drive to try to make it to play in college, and, seeing how serious he was about this, we encouraged him in his goals. He is known around the community and the Jewish community at home, making everyone proud, and will be inducted into the Jewish High School Hall of Fame this month.

Bigelman : I think stereotypically, Jewish boys playing football is an oxymoron. But there are a few Jewish players on the team who are just as talented as any other player on the field — how they pray is irrelevant to their skill and talent. Noah has played many sports, and football, more than any other sport, has a traditional culture of molding boys into men.

As Brady’s high school football career approaches its end — one regular-season game left followed, hopefully, by a playoff run — I have been thinking about what football has meant to us. If I could go back in time five years, to when Brady first donned football pads, I would tell Past Me that football will give your son and your family more than you could ever imagine. It will teach him discipline and hard work. It will teach him about goal setting and long-term motivation. It will teach him the power of a team. He will experience both victorious elation and crushing defeat. He will form friendships that turn into lifelong bonds. He will learn to be accountable to his coaches, to his teammates, and most importantly, to himself. And after each game, you will be joyful to hug the smelliest, sweatiest, most adorably hulking offensive lineman. Shabbat Shalom!

The experience of high school football is well summed up by Traci Feldman, whose son Charlie started as Seaholm’s freshman quarterback this year. “At first, I was nervous about Charlie stepping onto the high school football field, but it quickly became clear that the community and culture surrounding the sport are truly special. Beyond learning the fundamentals of offense and defense, he has grown in ways that reach far beyond the game. He has learned what it means to be committed, to dedicate himself fully, to be a teammate, and to step up as a leader. Most importantly, he has found a sense of belonging and discovered what it means to be part of something bigger than yourself.”

Being part of something bigger than yourself — isn’t that the ultimate Jewish experience?

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